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11月21日 A Father's Nightmare "update"My mind is starting to come back slowly to normal; if one can be normal with a sick kid. Good news, not great but I will take it. I worked a full shift, hoping that someone would call and update me on Krystal. So hearing nothing made my day a rather anxious one to say the least. So as soon as my shift ended I headed for the hospital. Got to the room just in time to see her specialist and got to listen in. They stuck a camera down her throat and took a look see. They took some samples of some stuff they wanted to look at closer. But for tonight her husband is back up north to take care of the dogs and go to work. But for tonight she is under my arms once again, like a steel curtain nothing will bother her this night. She is all bruised up from where all the I.V.'s got plugged in. But other than that I will get out my sleeping bag and get comfy on the floor...LOL. Come Monday she has more tests scheduled, but that is on Monday. So the first thing she asks dear old dad is to make her "egg and bread" (a slice of bread with a hole cut out by using a water glass, fried with the egg in the hole of the bread with colby and american cheese on top) I've been making them for my daughters as my mom did for me. For at least tonight I feel a small victory, a small one, yet a victory none the less. I thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. For a moment I lost my faith but I had help from some friends that brought it back. You will never know what it is like until it happens. One day the nurses with no answers and frowns on their faces. And the next day, just the look on their faces told me all I needed. Never doubt the power of many voices calling upon He that has no name... Peace to You and My Thanks to The Almighty Mark 11月19日 A Father's NightmareA Father's Nightmare I've lived these past years with the knowledge that nothing could harm my daughters. Since her birth, she lay under my protection. She used to use my beard as her own private swing. I watched her grow from dad's little girl to dad's big girl. Married and a school teacher; she became the second woman with my name to graduate from college, and become a teacher. She like many others are good daughters of the church. A fact in this day and age is quite amazing. Yet for her this did not surprise me. Never in any type of trouble with the law. Nor did she ever bring grief to my door. If not for her mother I could love no woman more than my daughters. She stopped work today and said "daddy I am checking into the hospital" my heart sank and that feeling down deep in the pit of my gut, what evil has come to me. Seems her Doctor checked her out at the office and told her to go straight to the hospital. Surely He that has no name would not allow harm to come to my daughter. I am angry, the hospital, says it will take two hours to type her blood. When the perfect donor is waiting by this terminal. You see the blood center loves me, or should I say they love my "Iron count". Red Cells tons of them . How can a college educated woman not know her blood type. No this not one of my writings as I am in a very bad mood. I have tried to stay positive, and think good thoughts. I have tried to pray, but the prayers turn to angry words. He that has no name would not bring this pain upon me. My daughter is frightened, like the little girl who once used to have bad nightmares and crawl into daddy's bed. Now it is I who is having a father's nightmare, his child lay in a hospital bed and my protection means nothing. She is my daughter and for the first time I feel truly helpless, as her fate lay in the hands of doctors. Still I can not go to Him, for my worry, has changed to an all consuming anger, truly a Fathers Nightmare..... I forgot one little fact, her blood count is less the n 6 it should be Way higher. I will see when I get there. Peace Mark Update on My Daughter Krystal.. Last night I did not sleep well as one can imagine I grow weary with all these Medicos and the lack of answers. One of the finest Hospitals in the state is 20 min by chopper and I have a notion to get her the heck out of this hack town. But her mom will not hear of it as she would have to get a hotel room, Like I really care right now about money. Ok back to the update, Krystal had three full units of whole blood and one of Platelets. That is four in total I just wish she was my blood type instead she is her mothers. My local blood bank loves me as I have so much iron in my blood you could use it to build another tall building and no I can't leap over it; I just have the iron to make the steel. Her blood count is now 10.5 which is much better. But her blood pressure is not holding. She was 120 over 75 this morning at 6am and now she has back slid to 90 over 65 still not too bad yet but it is worrisome. The CAT scan showed nothing; so tommorow comes the MRI and then maybe we will know where all the blood is going. Her liver stats are also of some concern, as her limpets are elevated. But I think that can be caused by the low Iron count from the past 4 weeks. I am holding together so far. When I came home my wife was still at the hospital. I open the door to find my two grand kids on their own as their father had fell asleep. They where both crying , there was a crystal globe on the table and it was broken all over the kitchen floor. They could have ran and hid, but these two brave (but rather stupid) kids where picking up the broken glass in their bare feet. I have never been prouder of both of them. Still can't figure out how they did not cut their feet to shreds. So I dried their tears and then set about the clean up, took out the rugs and chairs off the floor and then proceded to get the rest of the glass up. I'll buy one just like it and no one has to know. I find it odd that as upset as I was about my daughter; the pride I have in my two grand kids sorta erased the thoughts of my Krystal in that bed. I am sorry I have not been by to thank you all in person, but I find myself with my mind unable to much of anything right now. I thank you all from deep within my soul; for your thoughts and prayers. Peace to You All Mark 11月14日 Dog bites the TankDog Bites the Tank Just when I thought nothing could get worse. I have no luck at all these days. Today at work one of those funny looking little tiny dogs bit the tank. I did not even think he broke the skin' until the owner left. It was then I noticed that my had four little holes with blood coming out. Now I have about six days before I have to start those stupid rabies shots. Oh and by the way they hurt like hell. At least they did 20 years ago. Our video surveillance is top notch. So the license number is not a problem. Please dog owners make sure you dog gets his rabies vaccine. But until I find this guy and his dog; the count down begins. T- minus six days and counting. Peace to All Mark 11月12日 I Don't CareI Don't Care Today was like any other and at the same time different. This is November in Wisconsin; the weather however is in the 50's and 60''s. This is not a normal day of Wisconsin weather this time of year. My mind was off wandering, admiring the sky, the leaves, just about everything was perfect. I then realized I was almost out of gas. Into the next gas station; usually I plan to get to my speedway where the bonus points add up rather fast. I then went in to pay at the register; and to my surprise a young lady in her late teens perhaps maybe 20 held the door open for me. This in and of itself was a little odd. For I am usually the one holding open the door for a lady. As I was walking in I noticed a car pull into the space marked ""disabled parking" I dislike the term they use so I change it a little. However she had no sticker or temporary tag displayed. This is to let others know that you are able to park in that space. Then I noticed that she was with child maybe 7months along. I thought to myself she must need to use the restroom. I was mistaken, she bought a bottle of coke and cut in front of about three of us in line. This did not offend me. What did offend me was the fact that she was using a parking place meant for someone with a disability. As I was leaving a man about forty was in a little mini van. I spoke to him and said ""nice handicapped" sticker she has there. He looked at me and then looked at the car. His reply caught me off guard. And I quote " I don't care it is none of my business" . Thought I to say something else , but I did not as I could see in his face someone that really didn't care; about anything. I thought to myself how sad; to grow old not caring about anyone or anything because it is none of my business. My friends would not we be better searved by caring a little more for our fellow man. One would hope that if more would show a little care for others, would that not make our world a better place. I mainly wonder why we show not even a simple little old fashioned courtesy. Still I wonder how a young man in his prime could not care about anything as it was "none of his business" . My friends we must care for others if we are to continue as a race, the human race. I Do Care..... Peace to you all Mark 11月9日 Sweetness of LifeSweetness of Life Journey’s end come not while my eyes’ their darkness slumber. Wonder do I, if you fear the fight. Be this why you come unseen; as are the shadows of darkness waiting. Or be it that you wish none to witness that which you truly are. Oh scourge of man, you be known; matters not by what name you are called. Nor be it night or in the light of day; come not like a coward. Rather you came to face me and let the battle commence. Think you that fear; your weapon brought enough to take that which is held so dear. Fight me on level ground and yes in the end I may be defeated. Still there are those who will see; and in seeing hope springs to their hearts. Then if my battle is lost, the worth be known; for to fight you is not fruitless. For this life is sweet and worthy of the battle that all will witness. And yes you may take me but your task will not be easy; nor are you ready for what you face. Nor could you ever know that which be the sweetness of life. Simple ThingsSimple Things Blessed be the simple things that life brings. Putting the shoes on my grandson’s feet; be not much to some yet to me no price can be laid. A baseball glove and its ball; lay upon the table in the corner of his room. Filled with the sun, moon and the stars; yet their brilliance subdued by a new life not yet lived. This new life outshines the brilliance of the heavens. Yet horror in the recess of my mind waiting, reminding me of life’s fragile thread. Matters not what be the reason if this thread broken. Be I a grandfather or father that looks down upon you, the flesh of my flesh. So my grandson should one us perish, fear not; for many games of catch we have played in the green fields that which be my mind. And many times your shoes have I placed upon your feet. So live every minute as the thread can break; be a lingering sickness, or gone in the beat of heart no longer with life in it. Oh son be not afraid for in our minds, cherished forever the brilliance that we shared.
For Doc…… 11月5日 Round Two Hello out there to my family!!!!! Looks like round two with the flu. I thought once I got over it, I could not catch it back. Wrong, low grade fever, that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. The headache behind your eyes that make you wish that you could just drill a hole to relieve the pressure. The sweats are back but I feel cold, and to top it all off my body is shaking like a flag in the wind. My relief at work came in today his started up last night, and no we ain't that way. So looks like the "anti-bodies" thing don't work with this swine flu chyt...sorry stuff. Gang I hope none of you catch this bug, it is a mean little creature and it seems it has more than one life. LOL So I will see you all again and that is a promise. It is a little more intense this time as a 20 year old in my town died from this nasty little creature. I just hope I don't give it back to my grand kids. Peace to You All Mark 11月2日 I still live I do not have much time as I much jump into the shower. I just wanted to take a couple of minutes to let all those the new me and still do. That I care very much about my friends; those that became my family. The words that used to flow so easily to me, no longer be like a river. Seems more like a dry creek bed. I have tried to write but to know avail. I have been spending time playing a silly game on face book. I was hoping that this might free the mind. At best it is a distraction, something that has filled the void when the words left. I have been working 6 to 7 days a week and this also has taken its toll upon my mind. I tried to come around and just visit, such beautiful pictures and that did not even trigger the mind. The words that once set my mind and soul free ; are now just as shadows of the past. The windows to my soul now are covered as if night has fallen. All that is left is just the darkness Peace to You All Mark 10月22日 Swine Flu Hello out there to all my space friends. Seems when my grand kids was told they had a lung infection, opps the Doctor was a little off. So I watched my two little ones (they live with us now) David aka Monker had a belly ache and low fever. With a nose that ran more the the Indy 500. Deanna aka Monkett she had it a little harder her fever spiked at 103.2 scared the hell outta me. I was ready to put cold water in the bathtub. So what does the doctor do; "they both have bronchitis from living with smokers" so she gave them an anti-biotic My daughter told the doctor that I was allergic to "erthrowmicyn" So what does the doctor do buy give them what I am allergic to. They both broke out in hives and their skin started to peel just like a snake shedding. Ok so I went off topic a little as for the symptoms which include the following. Low grade fever never above 100.0 degrees for about 3 days, joint pain (like someone driving nails into your fingers) blurred vission, tightness in the chest. Also your senses will be affected taste, smell, touch. The nausea was the pits. But no tossing my lunch or spending to much time in the head. Add to that the tremors and not sleeping and their you have it the "Swine Flu Drag" Like I said I could eat but could not taste or smell anything. And to top it off I got it from my grand kids and then gave it to my partner at work, and he took it home and gave it to his wife, (she hates me right now). But this seems harder on little kids than us old guys like me. I have had the Asian flu that put me in sick bay for four days in 72 and then in 83. But this was not even close to how sick I was then. Like I said WATCH THE KIDS. I am still not at 100% but getting there , now if it would just stop raining on me at work I'll be ok...lol Peace to You All Mark 10月20日 Summer's ThoughtSummer’s Thought What be this sadness as the lonely insect suffers, dieing. Often I wonder of winter’s embrace; madness, confusion; death unknown comes. While in summer does not man kill without thought. That which man brings death so easy; yet he sees not the pain of his brother. Nor the lonely insect as the wings no longer move. Watch I do as the little fly stumbles and falls. Do I have the right to kill this carrier of disease. Or should I just let the Almighty decide, and relieve me of this burden. No, for in summer kill without thought, this little winged creature. So why now do I shed a tear, for that which death came easy, in summer. Or be it that as man death need not be a part; until time is ended and we like the insect suffer no more. 10月15日 Over the Top Hello to all my space family out there. The mending process has begun. My body took a pretty good pounding. I ain't felt that sick since I think it was '72 when the flue from Asia got me, spent four days in sick bay; and this felt worse I think maybe just my age feeling old. Imagine if you will a four day party with a bunch of " JarHead" and the next day the after effects. Ten multiply by a factor of 10 and that give you an idea how bad I felt...LOL... My partner at work has the same thing, and so does half the employees where I keep the petty thieves in line. "it all your fault" in reference to me as I was the first one to show symptoms. They all thought I was kidding about my joints feeling like someone was sticking pins in them. As for the rest, this little nasty attacked everything. I have been shot, stabbed, 5 major crashes on motorcycles, oh and one "heart attack" (no damage) thank the Almighty for that one. Trust me its a feeling you never forget. But this my friends put me on my back, heck no one or nothing has done that since I met my wife...LOL.... Still am felling not 100%, but am getting back. In fact I might cook tonight. Ok now pay attention. First take a a nice size round steak and cut it into strips about 1.5 to 2.0 inches long. Then beat the heck out of it with a meat tenderizer. Use a good canola oil or peanut oil heat it like you was going to make french fries. Take each strip and first into an egg wash and then in a baggie with equal parts of flour and bread crumbs, Then into the pan it goes, brown it golden on one side and then turn them over till brown again. Now take some tomatoes, a little mustard seen, a medium onion, green peppers, and some mushrooms (not too many as these can over power the rest of the flavor) toss it all in a blender until you have a good salsa. I call them "steak fries" but my sister in law is from Argentina and she has a different name for, (just can't remember it, you know "jarhead syndrome)she would pour it over a bed of fresh cooked wild rice, me I like them just the way they are without the rice. Cheers everyone hope you enjoy them. Peace to You All Mark 10月14日 Sick Hello out there to all my space friends. The old tank has a bit of rust in his treads. I've had very strange symptoms. No fever, but tremors; not a cold, not the flu. I think this is worse if that is possible. My entire body aches, I had to call in sick (I never call in sick). I can eat, but nothing I eat tastes like anything. My old nose has been running like a race horse. My chest feels like someone hit me with a sledgehammer twice. No not a heart attack. But it has sure messed up my senses, the worst of it vision blurry, depth perception shot, you name it and its off. But the guy where I pick up my prescriptions told me today that there is a wicked bug about. Nothing to do but ride it out. All I can say is this feeling reminds of a cows rear hoof, thats been walking around the barn yard to long...LOL... Peace to You All Mark 10月11日 Question ElusiveQuestion Elusive Wonder do I at what it is that makes a man. What qualities must be within that he can lay claim. Or be it the deeds done by one such as this that the title bestowed. I find this some what of a puzzle. Be there no answer to this age old question. Is there no scrolls from ions long past. That can reveal who and what we truly are. What would I wish if be it my choice to know. I tell thee that man is what we made him. Still the Almighty gave us the clay. What will be made by our hand and truly ours. Yet we know not for sure that answers be known. For in the clay we mold, be it a vicious beast cold and without heart. Or will it be just a man, trying to live as was his parents’ teachings. Be this the answer then; that question elusive has no answer. Except for these words I speak now. That at the end of his time, he will see if others thought him a man, or just a beast. 10月10日 Still You StandStill You Stand Rock to rock the ground tremors, still you stand. Be the brilliance your strength in hand, or skies of blue that shine upon thee. Yet what of the might of the sea, as the waves crash beneath the rock of that which is your power; in the darkest of hours. In this great darkness, fogs curtain drawn. Be this a mighty ship upon the sea, or a small boat and the fisherman. Yet for men without hope, your power seen, for not even fogs’ curtain threatens your power. Still you stand, be the weather fair or foul, your brilliance never dimmed. There is no power beneath the rock, nor the sea with all its’ fury to blot out thy brilliance. For under the bluest of skies all can know which way is home. As is those that sail the mighty sea; yet not all know of the rocks hidden by fog’s curtain, still you stand…
Inspired by Sue 10月9日 Raining I wonder should I build a boat Hello out there to all my space friends; yes i'm alive and well thanks for asking. It has been raining now for two day straight I wonder if I should start building a boat. Naaa But working in the rain seems like the hours double. I think I'm starting to grow web feet; and my head feels like a sponge SOMEBODY wring me out. Weather is changing fast and this weekend will kill the Autumn's colors before they have had a chance to really come out. And that really does bite, because I had two parks full of trees, and bridges over small steams and creeks that would have been quite the sight. I was also going to Carthage College, (that is the school with spire north of my lighthouse on my lake) It really is a beautiful college it is a Lutheran school, yes prayer is allowed and encouraged. But oh well I guess mother nature is against me this year. We are expecting our first hard killing frost this weekend with snow on Sunday or Monday. That will do it for the leaves and the flowers. And if snow on "All Hallows Eve" I'll really be disappointed, as my and the grand kids wont' be able to go 'trick or treating" Right now I think the temp is some where in the 30's F with the lows over the weekend in the 20's F. I'm not ready for winter to come this early. Some of the stores in my little big town have Christmas stuff going up already and it ain' even Halloween. Also I have been trying to get "Live writer to work but as of yet it still won't open....Thats all for now hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Peace to You Mark 10月7日 food Hello out there to all my space friends. In better words Steve said it best, "Git a Grip man" so I did and things have begun to fall back into place. I cooked tonight, I cut potatoes in cubes (they don't have to be perfect, I would then add equal parts of olive oil and water. Then A little basil and oregano; then let it fry with the water and the oil.. I am doing this as the chicken is cooking. After the water boils away the potatoes turn a deep brown color. Then when they area about done I drain them and then put them in a corning ware dish with a half pound of Colby Jack cheese and then pop in the oven. I make a sour cream and garlic dip for the potatoes. My grand kids love it and so does the rest of my little family. And the baked chicken so tender it falls from the bone. Well good night all and to all sweet dreams I give thee Peace to You Mark 10月6日 No EscapeNo Escape The anger that is my rage be upon me once again. Exploding with blood boiling anger; my thoughts turn to destruction. Be this when all control fails; with sanity lost as am I. How be it that my life has come to this; second to second I run. To where and for how long must I endure without control, this rage burning. How can one hide from the rage inside. Be there no safe harbor. Yet the rage will not loose the grip; for the blood be as quick sand from which there is no escape. 10月4日 Windows Live Hello out there to all my space friends. I wonder if the rest of you are having problems. Loading spaces seems like it is taking way to long. Also I have not been able to view my stats in the last three days it keeps telling me they are doing an update, but that don't sound Kosher. Three days to do an update, also my email has started to act very picky. I'm not sure if its me or is there a major problem some where down the line. And to make my week perfect, my wash machine died a tragic death it was only 18 years old, I took great care of her, and look what she did to me. So out to the store goes my wife and daughter to "look around"...LOL... I told them not to buy one until I looked at it. Oh stop laughing I thought just this once two of the women in my life would listen to me. And now the stove has decided to not to light any of its burners, great another trip to the store. And if that ain't enough my micro-wave has started burning every thing in sight. I suppose next my water heater will fry itself. Ok enough already; I could use a little luck but it seems I don't have any luck just the women in my life keep spending my money. I hope you have had a better weekend than me. Peace to You Mark 10月2日 Gentle ArmsGentle Arms Pale be the sky which looks down upon that which be the island surrounded. Coldness of the deep; the color holds gently these arms protecting. For this island lay upon her waters; separate, yet land with all manner of living things. Trees mark the shore line, as they to watch over; and protect they do the island from the mighty wind. The coolness of the water brings life to the island; for if the tress should perish; so to the island turned to dust. Yet be this not like love protected. From the storms of life; these arms gentle surrounding; love feels not the pain of the island that turns to dust. For in these gentle arms; love lives like the trees on the island, protected. Given the life saving waters, love shall not perish.
Inspired by Carrie |
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